At the corner of the terrace, she reveals her real self.
The thoughts accumulated in her brain erode, with each puff that she releases.
She sucks another puff of smoke with her finest lips.
Until she realises that she has to return to her hyspocritic world.
She encounters her family with the generous smile. All loyal. As perfect as she pretends to be.
She cursed her ill-fate for not destining them.
And she counted stars during the day, believing that night was a delusion.
When we tried explaining that the delusion was not the night but her love.
She explained us back, with here jumbled thoughts and metaphoric language, that we are paranoid. We need help.
https://instagram.com/inspired_by_amalia?igshid=1hozgyqrx8q99 Adieu To all the observed, Unwanted, Traps of gender. To the unwashed clothes That awaits for me. The kitchen With 100 ingredients, With red chillies, And sweet sugar, Which neutralized Every trap for me. To the basin full of dirty plates Bided dirty For a lady. Adieu To the glittery, shiny jewellery. To the golden nose ring That pierced in my skin To complete The idea of beauty. To the bright red dot on my forehead. Defining my religion, For me. To the young and old adult’s Blessings On my birthday, festival, and pooja, “May you get a good husband!” Adieu To the possessive, loving Lover Who defined love for me As marriage, Children, Family, Home. Adieu To all the benign systems, Which embraced me, Because I was afraid of losing people.
It has been months since he left. Now my body craves his gentle touch.
Out of resentment, I go through my contact list. And text the most obvious one, “Let’s have one nightstand.”
All of a sudden, subconsciously, I go through my gallery, slowly. I measure the length of his smile. Try feeling the outline of his jaws. Imagine biting his unmoving muscles. And stare at the wrinkles on his forehead. And the guilt seizes me.
It embarrasses me, how at first the idea entered my mind, but once conceived, haunts me for days.
I have assured him, I don’t need him back. But my hideous will wants him to come back.
I vow at night. I crave the embrace of his rough hands. I want him to be mine.
But once left, never wanted back.
The thick darkness occupies me at night. And I embrace my legs kindly with my gentle hands.